Names Will Ever Hurt Me

"Sticks and stones will break my bones,
But names will never hurt me."

When we were kids and a disagreement would arise, name-calling would often be the only outlet when all else failed. The above verse served as a shield against the abusive words that were being expressed. As we were matured, we discovered that those names or labels that were being tossed our way did impact us, often creating great hurt and lasting damage. The words or labels we use can also negatively affect the outcome of something we’re trying to accomplish or achieve.

Take the addiction field, for instance.

In the mid 1950’s both the American Medical Association (AMA) and the World Health Organization (WHO) declared alcoholism a disease. Yet today we hear such terms as "alcohol abuse", "drug abuse", even "substance abuse" as our ministry SAM has in its title. Does the word "abuse" evoke a sense of empathy or compassion? Do we use the word "abuse" when talking about heart disease or cancer or diabetes? To my knowledge there is no other medical condition where the term abuse is applied.

Taking this one step further, a recognized and generally accepted characteristic of alcoholism is "loss of control" over one’s social or controlled use of beverage alcohol. Yet the word "abuse" seems to indicate that this lack of control of one’s drinking with all its negative consequences is something intentional. Does the person with the disease of alcoholism really drink excessively to lose a job? To break up a marriage? To hurt his/her children? To get a DUI? In my 25 years as a professional addictions counselor, I have never met a client/patient who ever intentionally set out to experience any of these dire situations.

When I was working at Guest House in Lake Orion, Michigan, a colleague had a beautiful and very accurate way of responding to referents who often asked, "Do you treat alcoholism there?" He replied, "No, Bishop. We treat priests who have alcoholism." Lest we forget, we are treating and helping people. To focus on the disease (in the words we use) we tend to relegate the person with the disease to a secondary position. They become detached from the compassion and dignity deserving a child of God.

Throughout history we have seen how names have stigmatized and hurt people. Damaging, hateful names have been used to refer to one’s race, religion, country of origin, or medical condition. Names like "drunk", "junkie", "psycho", etc. tend not to assist one in getting needed help. We need to be careful with our tongue and charitable in our speech.

Names will ever hurt us.