LEARNING HOW TO PRAY: SEVEN LESSONS FROM SAINT TERESA OF ÁVILA
Each year during Lent, Christians throughout the world hear a familiar invitation: fast, give alms and pray. Fasting disciplines the body. Almsgiving opens the heart to those in need. But prayer — often the most neglected of the three — remains the soul of the entire spiritual life. Without prayer, Christianity risks becoming little more than moral effort or religious routine. With prayer, it becomes what it was always meant to be: a living relationship with God. For many people today, however, prayer can feel mysterious or intimidating. They wonder whether they are doing it “correctly,” or whether they are capable of prayer at all. Here, the wisdom of St. Teresa of Ávila (1515-82) offers remarkable clarity. The Spanish Carmelite reformer and Doctor of the Church remains one of the most insightful guides to the interior life in the history of Christianity. Her writings — especially The Book of Her Life and The Interior Castle — continue to illuminate the path of prayer for believers across centuries. Teresa’s understanding of prayer is both profound and disarmingly simple. She famously wrote: “Prayer is nothing else than an intimate sharing between friends; it means taking time frequently to be alone with Him who we know loves us.” In an age often marked by distraction and restlessness, Teresa’s insight is more relevant than ever. Prayer is not first about complex ideas or elaborate formulas. It begins with friendship.
From her teachings we can draw seven practical steps that help open the door to this friendship with God. I will be following here some highly interesting remarks in this matter advanced by the Spanish theologian Matilde Latorre (from the prestigious magazine Aleteia).
1. Understanding What Prayer Really Is
Many people imagine prayer as a complicated spiritual exercise. Teresa disagrees. She writes:
“I do not ask you now to think about Him or to form many concepts. I ask you only to look at Him.” Prayer begins simply by turning our attention toward Christ. Like any friendship, it grows through time, presence and sincerity. Yet, Teresa also knew that such friendship requires perseverance. She famously called it “a great and very determined determination” — the decision to continue praying even when it feels difficult.
2. Preparing the Heart
Prayer rarely flourishes in an atmosphere of constant noise and distraction. Teresa recommends creating a space of recollection: a quiet place, a passage from the Gospel, perhaps an image of Christ that helps focus attention. Even the body plays a role. A calm posture helps recollect the mind and the heart. These simple preparations allow us to become aware of God’s loving presence.
3. Entering into Prayer
Each person must discover the form of prayer that fits his or her temperament. Teresa suggests several simple approaches: imagine Christ present within you; place yourself within a Gospel scene; gaze upon a sacred image; or slowly pray the Our Father, savoring the words that Jesus Himself taught. Reflection may help, but it should not dominate the encounter. Prayer is not primarily an intellectual exercise. It is a conversation of the heart.
4. Remaining in Christ’s Presence
At the center of prayer is the person of Jesus. Teresa advises something beautifully simple: “Look that He looks at you.” To pray is to remain quietly in Christ’s presence, allowing Him to see us as we are and to speak to our hearts. In that silence, God begins His work within us.
5. Recognizing Prayer as a Journey
Prayer is not a single moment but a lifelong path. Gradually it reveals who Jesus truly is — and who we ourselves are in the light of God. Through prayer, we begin to see ourselves as God sees us: loved, called and invited into deeper communion. As Teresa wrote: “God does not force our will. He takes what we give Him. But He does not give Himself entirely until we give ourselves entirely.”
6. Allowing Prayer to Transform Us
Prayer will sometimes bring peace and consolation. At other times, it may feel dry or difficult. Teresa insists that feelings are not the measure of prayer. What matters is fidelity. Over time, prayer quietly transforms the way we see the world. Other people, daily struggles and even suffering itself begin to take on new meaning. We start to see life through the lens of hope.
7. The True Test of Prayer
Authentic prayer always leaves a mark. It changes the way we live and the way we treat others. Teresa was unmistakably clear: “The love of God must not be fabricated in our imagination but tested by works.” The most reliable sign that prayer is genuine is simple: love of neighbor. Indeed, Teresa summarized the entire spiritual life in a single observation: “The best way to discover whether we love God is to see whether we love our neighbor.” Prayer also deepens our capacity for discernment — the ability to recognize God’s call in our lives. Through prayer, we grow in truth, discover our vocation and gradually undergo the conversion of heart that shapes the Christian life. In a world filled with noise, anxiety and relentless activity, the wisdom of St. Teresa offers a quiet but powerful reminder. Prayer is not reserved for mystics or specialists in spirituality. It is the birthright of every believer. It begins with a simple decision: to spend time with the One who loves us. And once that friendship takes root, it gradually transforms everything.
Bishop Manuel welcomes comments and reflections from readers: bishopofpalmbeach@diocesepb.org.
